A few weeks ago, I was driving with my daughter down to midtown Manhattan. Although I absolutely love spending time in the city, I am much more comfortable with my husband driving. He could probably navigate around blindfolded, and still find the most efficient way to get from point A to point B. However, lately I have had a strong desire to get comfortable driving around NYC, so I headed down on my own.
Not too long after I began driving down, Brian called and asked when I would approach the 78th street exit. He proceeded to tell me that there is a camera at this exit, and if you go to some website, you can access the view. Being an engineer who loves technology, he was very excited about watching our SUV pass by this camera while zooming down the FDR drive. “Here you come,” he had said, the anticipation building in his voice as I explained to him we were passing the 77th street exit. “Oh my gosh, look there you go! I saw you! How cool was that?” Of course, I had to take a few moments to poke fun at his perspective of entertainment, telling him jokingly that he really needed to get a life.
I actually agreed that it was quite cool, however a little disconcerting at the same time. “A little too Big Brotherish”, I thought to myself. Then, as I thought further, I wondered what life would be like if, at the end of every day, we could sit down in front of our TV, and instead of tuning into a fiction-based, unrealistic, over exaggerated reality show, we could see a daily movie of our own lives; to answer the questions that lie in us deep down. . .
How did I live today?
How did I interact with my friends, my family, my children, my colleagues?
What kind of energy did I bring to every activity I was involved with?
Did I live true to myself?
Did I live honestly, with integrity, and do what I said I would do?
Did I live as if my past was in front of me, trapping me, or did I step into the future I wanted to live into?
Did I inspire others or bring others down?
Did I take responsibility if I wasn’t living my best life. . .and then let it go and move on?
Did I forgive?
Was I able to breakthrough unexpected challenges that came up. . .how did I react when things didn’t go my way?
How did I manage my life? Did I manage myself to be someone big or someone small?
Did I live my dream?
Did I love?
These are certainly not the easiest questions to ask ourselves, of course, but nevertheless important. I suppose this is why the “Big Brother” concept is so scary. It’s an interesting thought though, as to if and how life would be different if you were able to watch and reflect everyday on who you were being in your life. I realize that we don’t all have the movies of our lives to actually watch. However, it is possible to reflect each day. Try it tonight, in your mind. And tomorrow, try living a little closer to the authentic you.
And then maybe someday, Big Brother won’t be so scary.
-Amy
