Grievances

I say I believe in you.
Still, I hold my grievances.
Clenched tightly to my chest, they tear me to pieces.

All the rest is true...

I see your light and it stops me dead,
so I tread lightly.

I sleep with those grievances
breathe those grievances
eat those grievances.

The things you do,
God, I hate weakness.

Am I afraid?

What will I do if there's no weakness to hold you to?

If I open my hands,
let my arms fall,
stand there, all but caught up in those grand illusions,
what then?

Then...
I'd have to love, 
pure and simple.

No sword or shield.
No veil before my eyes.
No disguising what is true, in fear
that I'm not enough,
and the sting of joy is far too much to take.

Ugh--
It's in that belief where my biggest mistake has been made.

To be awake,
to walk into joy,
I must own this...

Love holds no grievances.

                                                                            -Jayme