In Judgement

Enslaved.

Slave to 
contemplation
formulation
manipulation...

Itching to bring forth 
information, as I see it.

All the wrongs I've seen--
been wronged.

Longing for a way to spin this flax 
I've been given.

So, there's that drive,
the burning engine,
full throttle,
seething...
'cause in the end,
seeing is believing.
And, in seeing,
I issue my decree.

This is what is,
what should be,
as I see it.

But, I'm lost.

That sight in which I place my trust,
breeding always, thoughts of injustice--
must be right
and real,
right?

Right...

at least, until I steady myself enough to feel.

And then, 
oh,
I see.
Only, not with eyes
or a mind conditioned to compare.

I see the dis-ease within.
The hell it is to sit
high up in this heavy robe
as I wield my gavel.

The pain that stays with each sentence given.

The back and forth.
The indecision.

It tears me in two.

Slave to watching.

Contemplation
Formulation
Manipulation....

a life lived in disdain.

Then the truth.
My holiness is my salvation.

-Jayme